Hey, Kellogg, how was your weekend?
Complete disaster, Carlton.
I took this girl to see New Kids on the Block...
and all night she's saying, "Donnie's so cute.
"Donnie's so sweet, Donnie's so hunky."
What does Donnie have that I don't have?
My guess is you don't have the right stuff.
All right, men, it's History time.
Smith, you're late.
Sorry about that, Coach, but...
I thought I'd run a few laps before class.
Help out the old basketball team.
Good idea, Smith. Good way to stay ahead of the competition.
Might not be a bad idea for all you men who are on the team...
to start the day with a few laps.
We run enough laps at basketball practice, Coach Smiley.
Okay, Hunt, we're not in the gym.
Therefore, you are to refer to me by my official teaching name:
Professor Smiley.
And for that little slip of the tongue, 20 laps.
All right, men.
Before we start the next chapter in our History books...
I'm going to give back the pop quiz from Friday.
I want you all to take these home...
and bring them back signed by your parents.
I think I aced this one. How about you, Will?
I think I did just fine.
...and the way that you write your "A" shows you're intelligent and playful.
You can tell all that from just my signature?
- Yup. - That's amazing.
Do me, do me!
Sign right there, under Ashley.
Okay. So what do you see about me?
Well, the bold vertical strokes show that you're impulsive.
The large capital letters show that you're committed.
And the little smiley face you use to dot your "l"...
shows that you got way too much time on your hands.
That's all true.
Who does it say I'm going to marry?
"Handsome movie star, who will only be happy...
"if you spend obscene amounts of money."
You're good.
- Hello, everybody. - Hi, honey.
Daddy, Will knows how to analyze people's handwriting.
He's quite good, sir.
One look at my signature and he deduced that I was valiant...
ingenious, and have the strength of 10.
- Let me do yours, Uncle Phil. - No, I don't believe in that nonsense.
I'd hardly call it nonsense.
Please, Daddy, it's fun.
All right. Where do I sign?
No, Uncle Phil. You deserve a fresh piece of paper.
- How about you, Aunt Viv? - Sure. Why not?
Will, this is always such a sad moment.
What is?
Getting you and Mom to sign his "Hall of Shame" History exam.
History exam?
Sorry, Will.
Mom, Dad, if it's any consolation, I got an "A" on the test...
and I must say I found it very easy.
Carlton, Ashley, we'd like to talk to Will alone.
Will, what is going on here?
You do so well in English and Math.
How could you do so poorly in History?
It's not my fault. That class is boring.
Don't give us that, Will.
No, what I meant was they don't teach the whole story.
We don't learn nothing about the Black people in American history.
If they taught that, maybe I'd be more interested and work harder.
That's not a bad idea.
- It's not? - It's not?
It's not?
Carlton, stop eavesdropping!
Sorry, Mom.
This does not excuse your bad grade...
but you've made a good point about the curriculum.
So we all agree here?
None of this is any of my fault?
This has been a very productive meeting.
Stay put.
You brought up a valid point here...
but if you want to learn Black history, what are you gonna do about it?
Don't just complain, baby, take action!
Write a statement about why more Black history...
should be added to the curriculum.
Present it at next week's parent-teachers' meeting.
I'll go with you.
- You will? - You will?
You will?
The administration will consider the petition...
suggesting that we change the school motto to...
"Bel-Air Academy: Love lt...
"Or Go To Public School."
Any other new business?
Headmaster Armstrong, I have some.
Mr. Smith.
This should certainly be fly.
I think the students at this school are being cheated...
out of a valuable learning experience.
I'm talking about Coach Smiley's History class.
That's Professor Smiley, Smith.
That will be 10 laps.
What's your concern, Mr. Smith?
We learn about George Washington and Thomas Jefferson...
and them other dudes that wound up on money...
but what about Martin Luther King and Crispus Attucks...
and all the other Black people that made a difference in this country?
It's like when there wasn't no pictures of any brothers on the wall.
You know Spike Lee's movie, Do the Right Thing?
I'm sorry.
The last movie I saw was Dead Poets Society.
With the right headmaster...
that would have been a completely different story.
Coach Smiley, would you care to respond to Mr. Smith?
All right.
I'd like to make three points.
First, in my course, we are trying to condense 200 and...
some odd years of history...
into nine months of lessons.
Obviously, we have to concentrate...
on some historical figures and exclude others.
That's true.
Second, our school...
has a fine library, or so I've been told...
where any student can study more about Black history.
Another good point.
Third:
For years I have taught my course from this well-respected textbook...
and quite frankly, I don't know a lick more than what's in this book.
So forget it.
- But I think it's important. - And it is.
Unfortunately, the school rulebook clearly states that any requests pertaining to...
curriculum changes be accompanied by...
A petition signed by 150 student signatures.
Article 4, Section 9.
Where'd you get ahold of that book?
It certainly will take some time to revise the curriculum.
What about having somebody...
come in to replace Coach Smiley for a month...
to teach some Black history?
A month off? Armstrong, I think the kid's got something here.
Be that as it may, I'm sure it will be some while...
before we can find a teacher.
So, unless there's any other new business, this meeting is...
I hate to say this, Mr. Armstrong, but it sounds to me like you're stalling.
Not at all, Mrs. Banks...
we want to make sure that the person we get is properly qualified.
For example, a college professor with a Ph. D...
who's taught Black History and Literature...
at the university level?
- Where would we find someone like that? - You're looking at her.
See you in a month.
All right, now that we're studying something I know...
I'm gonna be the star of this class.
No, you're not. I am.
What, are you tripping? How do you figure that?
Because the teacher's my mommy.
Good morning, class.
Mom, I'd like to welcome you, and say, on behalf of the entire class...
how happy we are to have you here.
What did you call me, Mr. Banks?
What I always call you: "Mom."
My name is not "Mom." My name is Professor Banks.
That is how I prefer to be addressed. It that clear, class?
Yes, Professor Banks.
Black American history, gentlemen...
from Africa, to slavery, to the present.
We've all heard of Frederick Douglass...
Martin Luther King and Booker T. Washington.
But Black history includes a lot of people...
whose names and faces aren't remembered today.
How many of you have heard the spirituals sung by the slaves?
I have.
Now listen to this:
That was pretty cool.
What do you suppose the purpose of that song was?
Let me handle this one.
For those of you unfamiliar with the spirituals...
allow me to explain.
The slaves used to sing them...
to keep their spirits up and their minds on God...
in the face of all the oppression that they suffered.
That was very well put, Mr. Smith, but you're wrong.
I beg your pardon?
That song was written to be used...
as a secret code of the Underground Railroad.
Secret code? What do you mean?
Can anyone tell me what the Underground Railroad was?
Now, this one I know.
The Underground Railroad was a group of people...
that led the slaves to freedom.
When was it established?
During slavery.
That covers about 250 years, Mr. Smith.
Care to narrow it down a bit?
What do you mean, right now?
Sit down, Mr. Smith.
It was established during the 1840s.
Harriet Tubman, an ex-slave, was one of the leaders.
These gospel songs were actually secret messages sent...
to tell the runaway slaves how to get to freedom.
For example, "the drinking gourd" referred to the Big Dipper.
When the slaves sang Follow the Drinking Gourd...
that signaled to the runaway slaves to run towards the Big Dipper.
Along the route, they would meet with the abolitionist...
and escape to freedom.
That's what I meant.
Could you teach us one of the songs, Professor?
Here's one called Wade in the Water.
This song told runaway slaves that the best escape route was along the river.
Late at night, these songs could be heard...
coming from slave cabins along the route...
guiding the runaways to freedom.
Everybody, join in now.
Come on, now.
Now, all right.
Not bad, guys.
Next week's assignment will be a report on the Port Royal Experiment...
and the Penn School written by Mr. Smith.
Who, me?
This course was your idea.
I think it only fitting you be given the honor of the first assignment.
Congratulations, Will. What an honor.
Mr. Smith will write the first half of the report...
the second half will be written by Mr. Banks.
Who, me?
I expect it to be at least 15 pages...
typed, double-spaced, with footnotes and a bibliography.
This course was a brilliant idea.
She's your mom!
I can't believe Mom picked us to do that special assignment.
Word.
Coach Smiley never would have did that.
He used to say, "Extra work for you...
"means extra work for me."
Excuse me.
Dibs on the tall one.
Excuse me, miss. Maybe you can help me out here.
I've lost the feeling in my lips.
I'm Carlton Banks. That's right, the Carlton Banks.
Want to slide out of here, get something to eat?
- Sure. - Okay.
Will, Carlton, I've been looking for you.
I think class went pretty well today, don't you?
Yes. Got to go.
Just a second. I've got something for you.
This book will help you with your research paper.
It's about the Penn School.
Charlotte Forten was one of its first Black teachers and she...
Will!
- Are you listening to me? - Of course.
You were talking about the Penn School.
What did I say about the Penn School?
It's right around the corner from the Pencil School?
Thanks, Mom.
Carlton, how many times do I have to tell you...
tuck in your shirt!
Look at you. Honestly, Will...
those eyebrows!
Hurry up. We're going to the library.
The tall one really liked me.
Geoffrey, I'm going on my first job interview at an art gallery...
and I need some advice.
You've been on a lot of job interviews, haven't you?
Why, yes, Miss Hilary. I've worked my entire life.
Really? Why?
Because I've always been partial to food and shelter.
Okay. Anyway, I've been trying to prepare for this interview...
but every time I think about it, I get really nervous.
What do they ask you at these things?
It's nothing to be nervous about.
Just a few simple questions.
For example, what is your name?
- Hilary S. Banks. - Education?
Two years of college.
What are your qualifications to work in an art gallery?
Well, I'm like...
An art gallery, to me, is like...
You know, it's like, okay.
When I walk into an art gallery, it's like...
Okay, if I had to choose, all right...
It's like, I mean... Leave me alone!
You're hired.
- Is Aunt Viv here? - Yes, she's in the kitchen. Shall l...
No!
She can't know we're here.
She hasn't let us watch TV in a week.
I'm getting withdrawal symptoms.
My body needs a certain amount of microwaves.
Hi, guys. How's that history class coming?
- Fine. - Yeah. Decent, I guess.
How are you doing with your term papers and your...
reading assignments and your economic graphs...
of the cotton industry?
Dad, if you don't mind, we'd rather not talk about History class.
Okay, suit yourself.
Uncle Phil, please.
If memory serves, this Black history class was your idea.
I didn't know Aunt Viv was gonna teach it.
She's driving us crazy.
Last night, I had a dream that I went to the prom with Harriet Tubman.
Will, I saw this coming.
You thought you'd get a free ride in that class, didn't you?
- No, I didn't. - I sure did.
I don't have any sympathy for either one of you.
Just because she's good at teaching the class...
and making you do some hard work...
- you can't take it. - Look, that's not it.
For her own good, you have to warn her...
if she keeps being so tough, the whole class is gonna revolt.
I can see it in the kids' faces. They're on the edge.
Umoja.
What?
Umoja. It's Swahili for "unity." Dope, huh?
I got the whole Berlitz course on cassette for my oral report today.
Did you take my Jet magazine?
No, I've got my own subscription.
Good morning, class.
Who would like to make the first oral presentation?
Jonathan, you did your presentation yesterday.
But I've done a whole new presentation, just for fun.
Before we make our presentations we have something to say to you.
A bunch of us were at Chadney's house making our extra-credit dioramas...
and we started talking.
We agreed it's a shame you're going to leave at the end of the month.
Yeah, terrible.
- That's a wack situation. - A shame.
So, anyway, we came up with this.
It's a petition for you to become our permanent history teacher.
Shoot me.
Guys...
I'm overwhelmed. This is very flattering.
According to the rulebook, we need 150 signatures.
So far we've collected 148.
It'd be fun if the two signatures to put it over were Will and Carlton.
Guys, do the honors.
After you, Will.
No, you go ahead first.
I insist.
She's your mom.
This class was your idea.
Okay, listen, guys.
I'm very touched that you want me to stay...
but I don't think the university would approve.
- But I don't see... - Let's get back to work.
Mr. Fletcher, would you care to give your report, please?
- Hi there, Aunt Viv. - What are you doing?
Just grading papers.
The class coming over later?
Yeah. Maybe you can tell us more about Harriet Tubman.
I never get enough of her.
I think you did get enough.
You thought one month was enough.
Mom, I'm sorry if I wasn't as enthusiastic as the rest of the guys.
You're a great teacher. It's just...
I hope you don't take this the wrong way...
but you made our lives a living nightmare.
How did I do that?
You ragged me in front of the whole class.
You gave us all that extra work and made us do those reports.
I didn't hear any complaints from the rest of the class.
That's because you were harder on the two us.
I'm sorry you felt I was being hard on you...
but I thought the two Black students...
would actually want to get the most out of the course.
I guess we didn't think about it that way.
Mom.
Yes.
This whole ugly episode...
it's not going to affect my grade, will it?
I'm a very tough grader, Carlton.
And you're very beautiful, Mommy.
Will, there's one thing I've been wondering.
What's that?
Why did you want a course in Black history in the first place?
- I'm interested in it. - Are you really?
Of course.
You didn't seem happy about all the work I was giving you.
Weren't you the one who said if you were...
interested in something, you would study hard?
Aunt Viv, I read The Autobiography of Malcolm X three times.
That makes you a serious student on Black history?
That's a very important book.
Will, you can read that book...
you can wear the T-shirts, put up the posters, and shout the slogans...
but unless you know all the history behind it...
you're trivializing the entire struggle.
Now you started something very good here...
but it's up to you to follow through on it.
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